Dior's Long Hard Road Out of Hell Journal

[Dior]

It all started in 2005 when I started feeling like something was a bit wrong. Weight gain and feeling hot flashes in my late twenties while working at a non-stressful, active job were my first signs of hypothyroidism. I gained weight quite rapidly from then on, I went to Kaiser and did a slew of tests that cost me about $1200 and a few years to pay off. My thyroid wasn't looking so hot and I remember finding out on the phone while I was standing in my college medical center trying to sort out a stomach pain issue. I cried.. The nurse on the phone told me I'd have to take medication for the rest of my life. I didn't know who to call after I found this out, I just sort of sat in the waiting room, stunned and numb.

Immediately I did online research when I got home. I talked to my parents who really liked to "avoid" talking about illnesses. They lived in denial about the situation and were no help to me. My boyfriend at the time was concerned with my situation and he did promise to help me through until the night he told me I was "getting fat" and needed to lose weight. I told him that he had issues that were uncorrectable, such as his small penis and we really never spoke again. Good riddance.. and yes, I do speak my mind with no shame.

I was upset over losing my boyfriend, very upset and became suicidal. I called Kaiser to let them know that I wanted to kill myself and needed immediate help. I went to talk to a therapist who only asked questions and never really came up with a solution. They put me on Prozac and called it a day. I was on it for several months before I was fed up with being a zombie, and by then I met my true love and felt no need for anti-depressants. He was well aware of my condition the first week we met since he had to take me to the emergency room for a blazing bladder infection that came on during our dinner. When he held my hand in the ER, I had to spew out to the nurse all of my ailments and medications, including pointing out the hair growing on my chin and the hydranitis on my inner thighs. My love was very worried at this point and was crying! He was scared for me, and that worried look on his face has never quite left, even 3 years later.

It was then that I felt so sick that I was practically unable to get out of bed. I didn't have a job at this point and my mother thought I was dying because I was so bloated and looked sickly. I moved in with my love and we were engaged, I was happy, but was never fully content because of my joint aches and pains. I was taking Levothroid for a year at this point, the dosages kept going up and up because of my blood work scores.

It was 2007 and I was planning my wedding. I was trying on dresses and could fit in only the size 20 gown. I wanted to throw up all over its pure whiteness... I was NOT going to be one of those fat brides that you saw in the Jenny Craig "before" photos in the commericals. I thought about diets and diet pills and all sorts of madness before I realized that I wasn't really getting better with Levothroid therapy and maybe I needed a second opinion. My close friend was getting married a month before me and we were planning wedding stuff together, which was nice. I started getting things all put together and then my father suddenly passed away from a heart attack. Did not see that coming whatsoever. I canceled my wedding, quit my new job, just gave up on everything since I thought my life was really ruined this time.

I concentrated on helping my friend with her wedding, and that entire year, all I did was have menstrual periods that lasted for about 3 months straight.. and heavy. I went back to Kaiser, to my gyno, and he said I had PCOS along with the hypo. He looked under my arms and saw the darkened skin, saw my forming beard, and I told him about the hot flashes, etc. I asked him about Natural Thyroid, which I had just read about in a hypo book, he told me , 'We prescribe Levothroid because it works.' Trusting the doctor, I continued to take the medicine.

2008-2009 was pretty much a dark period for me. My job held me as a temp, which gave me no benefits, and I was still at Kaiser hearing the same old crap. I couldn't afford the blood tests, I couldn't afford to do much of anything. It wasn't until the end of 2009 when I finally scraped up some money to see a Naturopath.

She is a very unusual woman, but she keeps up on her research and knows what the hell she is talking about, but isn't really a "people's person". She's quite uncomfortable to speak with and very hard to find if you need a refill. She never answers emails or the phone, her receptionist is just as bad. She has two offices and told me she "can't keep track of patients between the two places". GREAT. Here is what I've learned from her :

Not only do I have Hypo, but also Adrenal Fatigue. She had me order a Saliva 24 hour test from the internet, and that's how we found out.
She prescribed to me Natural Desc. Thyroid and I picked it up from a compounding pharmacy with no problem, but... she gave me zero refills.
She told me to take Metformin for the PCOS, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Cinnamon, and Chromium Piccolinate supplements.

I started feeling good, started exercising A LOT. Two hours per day.. eating right.. and only lost 8 pounds in 4 months. I was pretty devastated with the results since I worked so hard. Depression set in further, but I was feeling better with the new natural pills, except for Metformin, which gave me crazy diarreah.

Early 2010, found it very difficult to get a blood test since I couldn't afford it. The doctor would NOT refill my Nat. Thyroid until I had test results. I told her I didn't have the money, so she refilled one more time. At this point, I was really busy at work and getting ready for them to actually hire me on as an employee. Once that actually did happen, I had the best medical insurance in the world (IMO) and I was ready to do the labs. I emailed the Naturopath who wrote me a letter in ALL CAPS that she wouldn't refill my Nat. Thyroid without lab results and I was very upset with her and decided to find someone else.

No meds at all... feeling horrible.. I went to my new general physician to talk about sleep apnea, which I already tested positive for. He said if I corrected my thyroid then my sleep apnea would go away. He never recommended anyone or said anything further than that. I found a gyno through my love's family, and WOW what a classy office. I was impressed. The gyno said my PCOS would go away if my hypo was treated... so I was happy to hear that most of my ailments would improve with the help of thyroid meds.. would he prescribe it to me?? No. He sent me off with a prescription of Prometrium, to help thin the thick lining of my uterus (had an ultrasound to show the lining) I have to take these pills for 30 days and get another ultrasound to see if the lining is thinning out. He referred me to an Endo who turned out to be.. HORRIBLE.

This endo, whom I saw just today, told me that people can have heart attacks while on Natural Thyroid and that Levothroid works because it's FDA approved and Natural is not. I've never read this. I've never EVER heard of this. I've heard that people with Low Cortisol don't do well on Natural because they need the cortisol corrected .. or something along those lines. This doctor told me to take 1 gain of Natural for 2 months before testing next... I have read on STTM that you need to take 1 grain for two weeks and then up the dosage. So now I'm confused. What to say to this doctor now? He told me to go BACK on Metformin and give it a chance. I am ready to have a nervous breakdown. Holding on to hope. Thanks for reading.

[Dior]

WEIGHT LOSS JOURNAL :

While on absolutely no thyroid meds, I joined a group exercise contest at work, with a big $200 prize. I am about 60 pounds overweight and so was my partner and she doesn't have thyroid issues. We worked out for two hours per day, giving Sundays a break. The workouts consisted of 20 minutes of elliptical machine going high speed, then a pretty intense circuit training routine with light weights and all of the machines in the gym. Then there were crunches and pilates type core exercises to follow. Needless to say, it was very difficult, but I still did it. I changed my eating habits by buying the "Eating Right" frozen meals from Safeway and buying a small salad from the cafeteria at work. The frozen meals were tiny and cheap, but really good and it helped me a lot with portion control. I filled myself up mostly on the veggies from my salad and I drank a lot of water while eating.

I did this for 4 whole months, without cheating, and only lost 8 pounds. My friend lost nearly 20 pounds, she would have lost more, but she cheated A LOT. I found her eating Taco Bell several times, yet she still managed to shed 20 pounds. When the gym manager noticed how hard I was working and getting hardly any results, she asked me if I'd been to a doctor. I told her that losing 8 pounds was a miracle, but frustrating after I'd been working out so hard, I would have normally seen dramatic results if it were 6 years ago before I became hypo. I told her I was hypo and her eyes dropped to the floor, she knew exactly what was going on.

I was on no meds because no doctor would prescribe the Natural ones to me. I gained the weight back that I lost within a few months because I think I burned myself out (I have adrenal fatigue) and I stopped working out except for walking everyday, which I have to since I can't get to work without first walking to the train station.

So with that lesson learned, I know now that without the proper treatment, I won't be able to lose weight efficiently. I have my new prescription in-hand and I'm ready to try this again.

[Dior]

What the hell happened this morning? I woke up and sprung out of bed like I was 10 years old. What the HELL is going on? What happened to the sluggish, the "I need a walker" slumped over attitude that usually greets my poor fiance every morning. I've been taking Fortamet 500 mg (replaced my old dirreah inducing metformin) for two days and I feel like I'm on speed. Is this okay? Should I be worried? Feels good though!

[Dior]

Today is not a good day at all. I took my blood glucose (blood sugar) reading before I went to bed .. not advised to watch it, I did it out of curiosity... and it was at 237. That is not good. This morning, it was 208 before I ate breakfast. I am calling around to see what doctor can speak to me about it, but I'm at work and one of my fiance's relatives is dying.. so it's been a tough one.

[Dior]

I've been on Fortamet 1000mg x 1 per day for about 3 weeks now and I feel like I am "shrinking" just a little bit. The last time I was on Metformin, I did notice my bloating went down quite a bit. This drug is supposed to help out with my PCOS, but I just went to my gyno on Friday and the ultrasound showed that the thick lining in my uterus didn't shrink down much at all. He said " You better get your endoctrine system in check .. and stop Dr. shopping." Ughh.

So, I called around to see what place would fill my prescription of N.D.T 60 MG.. and I finally found a place that will allow me to mail in my prescription and they will send the meds to me. They said they didn't fill the N.D.T anymore and would be sending me NatureThyroid. I wonder how different that would be?

[Dior]

Dr's visit went well today.. at least I think it did.

First off, she told me the Fortamet 1000mg was not enough dosage for me. She wants me on 1500mg. Maybe later when my body gets used to it I can move up. Not sure if Fortamet comes in 1500 mg.

She gave me the bad news.. the Dysglycemia diet packet. Contains information I've been fearing my whole life. No beef, pork, carbs, sugar... AHHHHHHH!!! I'm ready to die now. I hope this is just temporary. Sometimes a girl NEEDS a damned juicy hamburger once in a while!!!

She told me I needed more Adrenal support, so she added Licorice Plus and Adrenogen by Metagenics to my list. Also, she told me that I'll need to stop eating cereal in the morning and start drinking Glycem X protein shakes. Eggs are okay.. which is GREAT because I love eggs.

Sooo while I'm still waiting for my Naturethroid to arrive in the mail.. I am going to HEAVILY meditate on this new diet plan. I'm scared to death of the withdrawls.